No Sex Drive During Pregnancy

When a woman is pregnant, her sex drive can be unpredictable. Some women find that their libido goes through the roof when they are pregnant, while others seem to lose their desire to have sex all together. Both experiences are normal but having a low sex drive can be frustrating for a couple’s relationship.

There are a lot of reasons why a woman may have a low sex drive when she’s pregnant. It may be because she is more tired or feeling ill. Some women have difficulty adjusting to their new pregnant body and may feel unattractive or find sex itself is difficult. Finding comfortable positions may be challenging when you have a big belly in your way. Still, sometimes a woman really doesn’t know why she’s not interested. This may just be a result of hormonal changes.

Talk to your partner about how you are feeling. You shouldn’t feel pressured to have sex if it is not comfortable or pleasurable for you, but at the same time, it may be unfair to expect your partner to do without sex for unreasonably long periods. If there is a medical reason for abstaining from intercourse, this may be unavoidable but if your low sex drive is the only reason for not having sex with your partner, you should talk to him about it.

Sometimes it just takes longer to get in the mood. You may want to try things that help you relax and feel more sexual. Taking a warm bath, getting or giving a massage, going out on a romantic date, are all ideas that may help you feel more attractive, sexual and more in the mood. Some women may struggle with a low sex drive through their entire pregnancy and find that nothing really works to overcome this. The best thing a woman can do is communicate with her partner to find ways to work around this.

Top Sex Positions During Pregnancy

I will divulge to you the results in a survey conducted in a forum for sexually active couples about the best sex positions during pregnancy. Here are the lists of the top sex positions during pregnancy according to a 50 respondents of the said survey:

1. Spoon position: This is where the couple lie on their side. The man stays at the back of the woman while making an entry to the vagina. In this position, the couple will be forming a letter C.

2. Face to face: In this position, the couple faces each other while engaging in having sex. This is ideal for later stages of pregnancy since the weight of the abdomen is shifted to the side while the uterus is supported by hands. It is also more intimate since both partners will be able to see each other.

3. Sex On The Edge Of The Bed: This is more like a missionary position. However, the woman’s vagina would be directly on top of the edge of the bed so that the man can be able to penetrate it while standing up or bending down. The man is in control of the thrust and speed of penetration with this position.

4. Woman On Back: This is also similar to missionary position. The only difference is that the man is in a sitting position while penetrating the vagina while the woman is lying on her back.

5. Woman On Top: This is a little risky especially for later stages of pregnancy. However, its advantage allows women to control the phasing of the intercourse and the depth of the penetration.

Indian Sex Psyche in a Digital Native Society

A 15-minute clip from Ina, a 1982 Malayalam film by popular director I.V. Sasi that deals with youthful lust and child marriage, is the most viewed Indian video on YouTube. It has more than 117 million views, and it appears to be the only Indian video to have more than a 100 million YouTube views.

Ina was a trendsetting movie which received many positive reviews during a time when even talking about sex was considered as a taboo in Kerala. Many parents of the 80’s were reluctant to send their kids to watch this movie as they thought it would corrupt their children. “My mom was an adherent moviegoer. She never stopped us from watching movies, but when Ina released, she was so unyielding to our requests and every time she came up with some kind of excuse. Only later in our life did we understand the real cause of her worry” says Jayasree who is now 50.

But what makes the movie so popular on the YouTube four decades after its release? Why are the other classics of Padmarajan and Bharathan not among the list of top ten most viewed video on YouTube? And the bigger question is why only 15 minutes not the whole movie getting the maximum hits? The answer is hidden inside the top ten Malayalam videos on YouTube; they are all Blue Films.

The case of other language videos is not different, they all feature similar keywords like Sex, Hot and Masala.

This reminds me of a case where three Ministers from Karnataka were expelled from the Legislative Assembly after the CCTV footage caught them watching pornography while the assembly proceedings were in full swing. Interestingly one of them handled the portfolio of Women and Child Development Ministry. When Google India released the report of the most searched personality of 2013 in last December, the Indo-Canadian former pornographic actress Sunny Leone was way ahead of Shah Rukh Kahan and Sachin Tendulkar. The Google trends report shows that the volume of search for the term “porn” has more than doubled since 2010 – 2013. These reports indicate that porn is freely available to anyone in India who has access to internet, regardless to their sex and age.

The writing on the wall is so clear; the number of people who are becoming addicts of pornographic videos and the increase in cases related to sexual abuse in India are in a proportionally high level.

New technology in the hands of the young, who uses it irresponsibly, could lead to a catastrophe. The new generation (which the techies call as the “digital natives”), are less guided by their parents and teachers (tagged as digital immigrants) as they are less informed about the new world of gadgetry. Teens have an inquisitive mind, which is controlled by peer pressure. But when pornography becomes their answer for sexual inquisitiveness, they become perverts. MMS Porn videos of students, circulating in schools in Kerala have been reported many times by the media. In some cases the victims have even went to the extent of committing suicide. According to a study conducted on 1000 students of both sex, 47% of high school boys and 29% of high school girls talk about porn in their classrooms.

What is more startling is the kind of videos the young prefer to watch. According to webmaster report of a website, the keywords searched for entering a porn site has changed over the last few years. A few years back people used short keywords like Rape, penetration, oral, anal, lesbian, gay etc. to make their porn search, but now the terms have become more violent and inhuman, with the user searching for what exactly he/she needs.

In India watching porn is considered legal but distributing or publishing pornographic content is considered as a crime under laws laid down in Sec.292 of the Indian Penal Code, which came about by Act 36 of 2000. According to Alexa Ranking of top 500 Indian Website 24 are porn sites. The legal machinery in India has failed to take action against these sites that even publish child pornography. A report of Optenet says, 40% of the web is made up of pornographic sites. As the WWW is open to all, including teens to consume porn materials, these sites are just a click away from reaching them. The search for these sites begins with simple googling of their peer doubts, which can be answered if they are given proper awareness in schools.

A few years back when the Government of Kerala introduced Adolescent Education Programme on the recommendation of UNESCO there was stiff opposition from the church saying the programme will lead to “sexual anarchy” in the state. The programme was intended to give awareness about sexuality and sexually transmitted diseases to class IX and class XI students of more than 4,000 high schools and higher secondary schools. Due to controversies the programme didn’t took off in Kerala. The same happened in the states of Karnataka, Gujarat, Maharashtra and Madhya Pradesh. But Tamil Nadu implemented this programme long back in 1997 and it has been proved successful.

India lacks Sex education; this is a fact which is overlooked during discussions on fighting rape and other cases of sexual abuse. Rather than fighting for a law to castrate the rapist or to hang him, the discussions should extend to a broader platform were in we can put a cap on the root so that further growth is restricted for ever. Moreover sex education in schools will also reduce the number of HIV cases in India. According to Government reports 40% of the total HIV affected people are under the age group of 15-29.

An Indian American News Website reported the trend of watching pornographic videos is synonymous to all states in India but higher in the state of Kerala, which boasts about the high literacy rate.

The YouTube videos and their counts is a direct reflection of the sexually frustrated Indian youth. If this trend continuous for a long time the result would be a million youth with unusual behaviour. As a country which boasts about its youth as the way forward in achieving global leadership, Indian government should take Sex Education seriously at the earliest.